Starting again

So, AF showed up this morning again, which I had a hunch based on dropping temps and cramping yesterday. I'm glad my body has returned to normal cycles, 26 days on the dot!

DH and I discussed our next plan of action. We are both in agreement that if my tubes are truly blocked, that we are going to possibly skip the IUI and head right back to IVF. We won't be able to do this until January in order to get our HRA money. What it does mean, it talking to the RE, getting her opinion, and just jumping in feet first.

I know some people will say "Try Naturally. So many people I know did IVF and then got pregnant with their second on their own."  DH and I want to believe that this too would be our fate, but medical facts of my tubes being full of scar tissues is hard to ignore. We will continue to try until after the first of the year.

I know some other folks might think "You have one beautiful healthy baby. Isn't that enough?" My DD is the most wonderful gift God could have ever blessed us with. I will NEVER take her for granted, but there is this piece of me, our family, that just seems incomplete in some regard. It's hard to express to those who have not walked this journey or who get pregnant if they sneeze. While our family is perfect now, we still have the desire to make it grow. It's not necessarily selfish, but just a hope and dream we continue to have.

So, Monday I call the RE. I'm going to go back on my quest to lose some weight, gain some muscle and take care of myself better than I have been.

Here's to the journey to the next addition to our little family. :)

New Course of Action

I've decided to contact my RE and let her know that we have started trying. Part of me gets this panicked feeling like we are running out of time, but I know that we have a good window to have another baby. I know that having a baby naturally COULD happen, but knowing the damage to my tubes and how wacky my hormones are, I best get started now, rather than wasting precious time. I love my little girl more than life itself, but I know there is one more little one out there to complete our family. So tomorrow I will make the call to figure out the next steps in our journey.

Currently waiting

So while we are "trying" for baby number 2, we decided not to take the super scientific approach the first few months. I've only monitored my temps a bit, and I have not been using my Ovulation monitor. Maybe we can start that in the fall, but I figured I'm going to put it in God's hands right now. With the baby, the 2ww isn't so bad...and I don't think it's 2 weeks with me anyways! Here's to always waiting, wishing and hoping!

Baby #2?

Our sweet baby girl continues to amaze me everyday. I cannot believe she is already 7 and a half months old already. I say down today and was reading through the trials and tribulations we went through to have her, and I must say, while it brings tears to me eyes, the tears are mostly of joy because I have a healthy, happy baby girl to hold. (Well, when she lets me now!)

Of course the question comes up, are we ready to try for baby #2? I figured that like the first, my blog is a good place to turn, because I'm not sure what the 2nd journey will bring. The question always comes to my mind "Will we have to endure the same process? Will IVF become our fate once again? Can I watch those I love around me get pregnant again before me? Do I have the strength to walk down this emotional rollercoaster?" If these questions pose to be true, we are more than ready to go through with it again. I will hold my head up high, smile, and know that there is a bigger plan for us. However, in the meantime,we continue to enjoy our beautiful little girl and know that if another baby isn't in our future, we have been blessed with a miracle and a blessing far beyond what I can put into words!

So here's to our 2nd journey, no matter where it leads us. :)

Breakthrough

Well, we ALMOST built a house. I say almost because I came close to having a nervous breakdown. Why? I think was was afraid to be consumed with this house and then miss out on my baby girl's first year. What happens if she is our only child? What happens if I'm not longer able to have children? While I believe in my heart that we will have another baby, I have to face the reality that we may not be able to. I guess what it shows is that I will always be infertile. I know for a time I was pregnant, and blessed with a miracle, but that doesn't mean I won't have the same struggles again for baby number 2. It's a world that I was not part of for 9 months, but slowly walked back into as soon as my baby girl was born. It's a world where I know I find strength and support from those around me. One that is familiar. Here's to hoping baby #2 is around the corner...

Eleanor Anne has arrived

It's hard to believe she is here. We went in for our C-Section on 11/17/11. Patrick and I were glad to walk into Labor and delivery without me being sick...and actually feeling semi decent! I was prepped and ready to go in no time. :)

 11/16/11

I was taken into the OR at 1:36 and was prepped and ready to go. Poor Patrick had to wear this over sized spacesuit and had to wait in the hallway while they did my spinal block. Once the curtain was up and I was numb, they started the C-section. Patrick sat by my side. It was the oddest sensation when she was pulled out...because I could magically breathe! I looked at Patrick and let out a sigh of relief! Then the scary part started...our little girl wasn't crying. It seemed like the longest minute of my life, and I kept asking if she was ok. Patrick stood up and saw that they had to bag her to get her to breath. When she finally let out that wail...we both started crying. She weighed 7 lbs 3 oz and was 20 inches long. They brought her to Patrick all bundled up...and I could barely see her face. I asked him if she looked like an Eleanor and he responded "I forgot we had to name her!" He had been so wrapped up in her being ok...he forgot! I cannot describe to you those few minutes of seeing her. It was such an amazing moment. One I relive everyday. I had waited so long to get to that point, that our miracle was finally born!

Unfortunately she needed to go to the NICU for observation due to her breathing...and poor Patrick had to make the decision between me and the baby. I told him I was going to be fine and that he needed to go with her. On his way to the NICU, he passed the waiting area, and our parents were able to meet her! :) I'm so blessed her was able to go with her.

She did have several hurdles to overcome because she was a preemie. First she couldn't regulate her temperature. Then, we had issues breastfeeding and still do. In addition, she was getting jaundiced. Then she lost 10% of her birth weight! Luckily, we were able to come home and are getting into our routine.

Since this journey is no longer about infertility, I'm going to be switching to a different blog for now. When we attempt number 2, I'm sure I'll be back here. :)

Miss Eleanor Anne

 Holding My Baby for the first time....4 hours after she was born!

 Daddy and his little girl

Wearing our shirt home from Holli and Scott



Week 36- 11/17/11

Today is the day....we've only dreamed of this happening. We are both excited and scared but overwhelmed with happiness that we are finally able to meet our little one. It seems like only yesterday we were struggling with infertility drugs, and found ourselves in a word of shots, needs and temperature charting. We are so blessed to be here. During this journey, I've found it so amazing, the women who've reached out and told me their stories. I've been able to give hope and a shoulder to cry on when things don't always work out as we want them to. Know that miracles happen and dream really do come true!!!