A new Path

My surgery went ok. I am here and well, I'm acutally doing pretty well! The pain is diminishing...but I don't know whether I should thank time...or the vicadin!

Yesterday went well. I got the the hospital at 7:30. Everyone I encountered there was so kind and calm. The first nurse I met was from Kosovo. She came over to the US when things got bad over there. She used to be a teacher and was very touched that I taught. She was super kind and I could tell that if she had to chose, sh would go back to teaching.

The antestesiologist was wonderful. He spent about 10 minutes with me, and came up with a plan to help reduce the possibility of a horrible reaction to the medication. Although the doctor was running late, I stayed calm. I had my mom, sister, and husband there to keep me company. I asked the operating nurses not to give me the verset as they wheeled me away. It was actually much more calming for me to go into the OR fully awake. They were talking about my job and my husband. They were all so kind and funny. When it was time for the antestic, I was told to imagine some place I wanted to go, so I said London, then Napa Valley and Sonoma...and even joked about the land of brownie houses.

When I came to, I was in pain. I did ask for Patrick, and they let him come back and hold my hand. It was then i was told how the surgery went. Not the news I was hoping for, but it wasn't bad news. My bladder was attached to my uterus and my fallopian tubes were attached to my ovaries which is why it hurt to pee and the IUI's didn't work. So, she placed some new surgical "paper" around my organs in hopes to limit the scar tissue. In addition, she said the best chance for us to get pregnant is to do IVF.

I am at home with the best nurse a girl could ask for. He's taking such good care of me.

We now know what is ahead of us, and that is bringing inner peace, as our journey now has a bit of light at the end of a long tunnel.

Thank you all for the prayers and well wishes. I ask that you continue praying for us, as our baby steps are not quite over. Love you all very much!

Surgery

Well, it all came a bit fast, but after calling the doctor's office in the morning, I had a surgery date of next Wednesday within a matter of hours. I'm both scared and nervous. I go from being extremely ticked off about it, to really sad that my body has failed me. I guess it's because I know what to expect. I know the pain. I know the discomfort. I know what's in store. I  think sometimes, that being naive to what's to come is better. So, I guess there are the baby steps God wants us to take in order to get our own little one....

On to the next baby step

After 3 BFN and lower BBT, On Saturday Morning, AF came. I kind of suspected it was coming as I felt like a bitch last week and I had been fighting cramps all week. So, again, my heartbroke into a million little pieces and I melted into a puddle into the ground. I know what lies in front of me, and I'm not so sure I'm mentally ready to handle it. I will be calling tomorrow to set up a surgery date to have another laproscopy. It will probably be within the next 4-6 weeks if I can get it done that soon. We'll see what happens when I call tomorrow. I guess God has a plan for everything. I know I shouldn't be giving up hope or losing faith, but sometimes it just is really hard to understand why...

My wonderful, loving, bestest DH in the whole world took me for an early present at the Coach Factory Outlet... :)
It might not be our baby yet...but it helps soften the heartache just a little :)

3rd times a charm?

We are hoping that the 3rd time is a charm. The 3rd IUI happened on Saturday AM. I think it's wishful thinking that it worked...only because it was 16cd and well..that's pretty late for me. :( So, I've made peace with the fact that surgery is probably in the near future. It brings me to tears most of the time, but I know that if this is what God has planned for us, we'll take the cards we are dealt. But for now, we take baby steps toward the future.

OH, I did get to enjoy my most beautiful niece this weekend for my DH's birthday :). :)