No such luck....

Looks like we are on to month number two of an IUI. I won't lie, I was extremely disappointed and hearbroken when I started yesterday. I felt a bit broken....I know, I'm not, and that things will happen, but it just seems slightly unfair at times. So, here's to hoping next month is a better chance for us! :) I'm going to keep my chin up, and go forth with a happy heart knowing that I am surrounded by wonderful and supportive family and friends.

Hopeless?

Stoney Creek Metro Park- a little bit of heaven on earth!

So, today I'm feeling a bit hopeless, and that this 2 week waiting period feels like EONS!! With my cycles, I could start on day 25 (and I'm on day 23 right now...) or go as long as day 29. So far....my BBT has stayed elevated, which is a good thing. I've been having some mild cramping, but it comes and goes. Some of which feels like AF is going to be knocking on my door, but I guess we'll see. My emotions go up and down. I go from,  wow, I really could be pregnant, to "Nope, this couldn't have worked on the first try...". I don't know why today I am feeling not so optimistic. I went and rollerbladed 6 miles this morning at one of my most favoritest places, Stoney Creek. As I rollerbladed around, I took the time to Thank God and send out loving energy to all things created so beautifully. The sun was out, there was this cool gentle breeze, and the overall beauty of nature was awe inspiring. It made me realize that I have spent many miles rollerblading around that park thinking (or not thinking) about my life. Of course with my IPOD providing the soundtrack. Today, it was playing all my christian rock music from 7th and 8th grade. I think in some funny way, it was telling me that I am not alone on this journey and that I need to believe and place my faith into a higher being. That being said, I think it was telling me too, that I should be so VERY thankful for all the support that I have been given.

As I take baby steps through this journey, I realize, more and more, that I am not alone. There are so many women out there that have or are facing similar journeys. It reminds me that the human spirit is resilient and that we need to form a sisterhood (or family) to pick us up from the bad days and celebrate the good ones!

On that note, I am going to continue taking baby steps on my 2ww (2 week wait) journey...

And....we wait....

Well, Today was the big IUI day! Nothing to crazy to report. Patrick and I had a lovely breakfast this morning...very low key.We went in at 9:15 and left at 10:00 from the doctor's office. Apparently I was the first patient that wanted to put my pants back on while I laid there for 20 mins after the procedure. Umm...it's cold..and I really don't think a paper cloth is going to cut it! I think all those years of dance and marching band experience made it easy to put clothes on while laying down! hahah! OH and a freind of mine told me to go to my happy place during the procedure which consisted of houses made of brownies! So, I that's what I did, thought of brownie houses and did my yoga breathing! :)

I didn't sleep last night. I think partly because of the nerves and excitement. I don't usually deal with change very well...ok I don't deal with change very well. AT ALL. I like the normalcy that life brings and the routines that are set up. I know that having a baby with change all of that, and moreover I will have a little person dependent on me. I know my husband as well, but it just seems like a whole lot! I always ask myself, why bring a child into a world with such hate, violence, and uncertainty, but then I look at my mom and dad and realize they probably had the same fears and concerns. And I have to say, they did a GREAT job raising me, because I think I turned out pretty normal. So while I am ready to start my family, my nerves are getting the best of me! It was a good thin I had the opportunity to go clean at our rental house, because it really helps reduce my stress levels! That bathtub never looked so sparkly!! :) hee hee..
So here we are, playing the waiting game. Please pray that this works. Little miracles and baby steps...

8 9 10

Today is 8-9-10....and our stick FINALLY has a happy face! So tomorrow is the big day....and then the waiting game continues again! :) So day 15 proved to be the big day! I can tell that I have been on meds, because my abdomen feels bloated with a lot of pressure. I'm sure that it'll go away, but I can definitely tell my body is not "itself".

This weekend was filled with lots of laughter! I spent it with my family since it was my Aunt and Uncle's 40th Anniversary. It really is good for the soul to spend time with your family. When it comes down to it, they are what you have!

Here's to the baby steps tomorrow!

Waiting....

Still waiting for that positive "Happy" face....getting up at 6 AM is FUN! At least Tanner gets to go out potty too!!

So....the waiting continues. :)