A plan for 2011

I'm not entirely sad to see 2010 go. It wasn't a bad year by any means, because we have the love and support of our friends and family. Things just didn't quite materialize as we had thought. There are bigger plans for us, and we are looking forward to what life has in store for 2011!

We are starting the IVF process. I went for my day 3 blood work and my FSH levels dropped from 9.7 last month to 8.0! The wheat grass must be working! I will continue to drink my yummy cocktail in the morning. With a little bit of apple juice, it's palatable. I've definitely tasted worse!

So, I've been taking my birth control pills and I stop those on the 2nd! :) I start ultra sounds and shot and then we have a tentative date for our retrieval and transfer at the end of the month. I won't lie, it's EXTREMELY scary, because we WILL be pregnant. That's something we've never had before....

I'm putting all of this into a higher power's good will, because I know that if I spend the time focusing my nervous energy on it, I'm bound to go crazy! I will be focusing on my birthday, husband, family, and schoolwork.

Happy 2011 all! :) We are so very blessed for all of your prayers and positive thoughts and comments. Without your love and support, this journey would be a very long and lonely one! We love you all!

Next baby steps

AF came on with a vengence yesterday. That means we are definitley not pregnant. I could sit and throw myself a pity party, but I know that will not do my soul any good. I am choosing to move forward and we now what we must do. I start my journey of IVF tomorrow. I go for my day 3 FHS blood work. I'm hoping that my 9.7 level has gone down a bit. I did some reading on Wheatgrass and started drinking it about 4 days ago. It really is not as disgusting as it sounds, believe it or not. It gives me A LOT of energy and is a natural appetitie surpressent. :) It's supposed to bring the horomone levels down, so, if that is what will help, I will keep on drinking it! Plus there are other great benefits to it. I figure it can't kill me, so I drink up every morning!

So, this holiday season, we can rest a little easier knowing that we have aplan and it starts now. :) It's not what we would have chosen if we did get the choice, but since God seems to have a different plan for us, we choose to have a family and this is the means we are given to do so.

Merry Christmas everyone and may you have a blessed holiday with friends and family!

A Christmas Miracle?

Today's IUI happened this morning. We triggered on Wednesday night, which by the way, that shot hurt like a mofo! It burned under myskin until I fell asleep. I had a 18 mm follie on Tuesday, so I'm hoping things worked out for the us today. I knew I was hormonal when I heard a song by Orianthi on the radio and it brought me to tears. It was about courage...amd for all of us faced with this journey of infertility, it takes courage and wanting a baby more than anything else to see it through. So I post you the lyrics :)

"Courage" by Orianthi
Take all my vicious words


And turn them into something good

Take all my preconceptions

And let the truth be understood

Take all my prized possessions

Leave only what I need

Take all my pieces of doubt

And let me be what's underneath

Courage is when you're afraid,

But you keep on moving anyway

Courage is when you're in pain,

But you keep on living anyway

We all have excuses why

Living in fear something in us dies
Like a bird with broken wings

It's not how high he flies,

But the song he sings

Courage is when you're afraid,

But you keep on moving anyway

Courage is when you're in pain,

But you keep on living anyway

It's not how many times you've been knocked down

It's how many times you get back up

Courage is when you've lost your way,

But you find your strength anyway

Courage is when you're afraid

Courage is when it all seems grey

Courage is when you make a change,

And you keep on living anyway

You keep on moving anyway

You keep on giving anyway

You keep on loving anyway

Disheartened?

Today was day 7 u/s and blood work. The good news, I have follicles. The bad news, I only have one 6 mm follie on the right and 3 follies on the left (13, 12 and 8). In addition, my FSH levels are on the high side at 9.7. Anything over 10, is typical of someone in their late 30s. So here again, we take a few baby steps back. The doctor wasn't completely downtrodden about my situation, but said we needed to take more aggressive measures next time. I know that it only takes one egg to make a baby, so maybe this all will work out, but I have this gut instinct that we will be waiting to do the IVF in the new year.

I did do some research about high FSH levels and most websites recommend acupuncture and yoga. So, here I go with some more needles and I will be doing  my best to get to yoga 3 times a week. I think it's a sign from above. Updog yoga and Red Lotus, be prepared to be seeing me! :)

Baby steps, we keep telling ourselves....

The shots begin

These shots have sure been an adventure! I was able to make it for my u/s on Tuesday, but ended up missing part of dance because my 4:15 appointment  didn't get me out of there until 5:15. Too bad my hip hop class started at 5:30. No biggie, I made it in time for the rest of dance. :)

So, Wednesday night was the beginning of our shots. One vile of Brevelle and one vile of Menopur. So, Patrick goes to start this whole process, and we quickly realize that our syringes are "safety lock" and you cannot take off the needle to use the QCAP. After our uneasiness of not really being sure if we missed 1cc, we called my Sister and she said no worries, there was one cc in the needle. I tired to give myself the shot and couldn't do it, so my husband was brave and did it for me.


On Thanksgiving morning, we trekked to the 24 hour Walgreens by Royal Oak Beaumont to figure out our needle/syringe debacle. The pharmacist was SUPER nice and turned out to be a fertility specialist. She gave us the right needles and the information we needed to go back back to our Walgreens to get the exchange our "safety" lock needles. Turkey Day shot went MUCH better.

Tomorrow is blood work and another u/s. Here's to hoping this doesn't  interfere with my 3rd row Michael Buble tickets in Grand Rapids on Friday!

On our way


Tuesday was the beginning of our new journey. AF came in the middle of my school day! It was kinda of sad how happy I was to get my period. I had called the nurse on Friday because it was day 38 of my cycle. Apparently the surgery can delay the period, but it came and we were elated! I went for my ultrasound on day 2 yesterday. I laugh because my friend calls the ultra sound "wandy". So to help distract my mind from the uncomfortableness of the whole thing, I laughed at "wandy" while I thought of brownie houses.

This morning I went for my blood work at the hospital. Of course I take Patrick's keys, while mine are in my purse. He had to leave for court to do Pro Bono work.....I rushed home so it ended up working out!

The shots start this evening. I'm a bit nervous, but I think Patrick and I will handle it with grace. It's amazing how much stress this whole process causes on our marriage. Who really wants to disagree over the amount of diluent used?

I'm very thankful this Thanksgiving. Our time will come and I have to put faith in the plan that GOD has for us. Take time to tell those around you that they are loved. Each of us is truly a gift!

No new news...

I'm not neglecting the blog...we are continuing to wait for AF to show up. I do want to take the time to say how greatful we are for our prescription insurance. I went and picked up the injectables and saw that it was $4500! My heart swelled with gratitude that we could afford this, but sank for those who are having the same difficulties and cannot afford the medicine for the treatment. We are hoping and praying that the injectables work, so that we can hopefully donate the unused medince back to the doctor's office so they can dispense it out to those less fortunate. (If that is even a possibility....)

So, our baby steps right now are minute, but we are headed in the right direction. We are ready to get this party started. :)

Everything happens for a reason....

Today was the big consult appointment. WOW...what a lot of information thrown at you all at once. Patrick was an excellent note taker and I listened intently. I was glad to hear the statement "You don't have the worst case scenario with your endometriosis" and "You have youth on your side." (I'm not sure if they caught that I'm quickly sliding into the home plate with the BIG 30 on it....but hey, I'll take the "your 29 which is excellent still!") We met with the doc for an hour and then turned around and met with the nurse an hour and a half later based on our treatment decision. It's a good thing I had the afternoon off and they were so kind to work with my schedule.

So, our options are IVF and injectables with an IUI. So, we've decided to start with the injectable hormones coupled with an IUI. This procedure is a stepping stone to the IVF if needed after the first of the year. I will wait until day 3 of my cycle and then trek to the hospital at 7AM for same day blood work for estrodial levels and then go for an ultra sound. The nurse will call me that night and let me know if I start my hormone cocktail injection of Menopur and Brevelle. If that is a go, we start shots at the same time every night and go until day 7. Then its another blood test and ultrasound. Then they decide the course of hormone cocktails and when I give myself the hcg injections.

So through all of this, Patrick continues to fight with our insurance since nothing is really covered. BUT there must be a God because the injections are covered by our prescriptions. I wanted to cry, because it would have been darn expensive if they weren't.

The upside to this is we could get pregnant without IVF. The upside to if we don't get pregnant (yes, there is an upside), doc has a baseline for if we have to do the IVF and it takes some of the guess work out of how I will react to the hormones. The IVF is a step we will take if necessary and we are committed to our journey for a family. Here's to baby steps in a positive light!

Moving right along

I'm feeling much more like myself! I have jeans on and was able to go out for lunch with my sister. :) I'm excited to get back to work, as I miss my boys!

In other good news, I was able to get out IVF consult appointment on Monday the 8th. No time to waste! I think that's my new motto...there is no time like the present because every second that goes by is a precious second of life that we can spend trying to start our family. If that means Patrick and I treat ourselves to a dinner to celebrate our love, calling a friend who is in need of a ear, or pampering myself with a few extra minutes of sleep, then I'm going to do it.

So, I guess after next Monday, we'll have an even clearer path of where we are headed. I'm very excted about the possibilities that lie ahead of us.

Here's to a few more baby steps towards baby(s) Winters! :)

A new Path

My surgery went ok. I am here and well, I'm acutally doing pretty well! The pain is diminishing...but I don't know whether I should thank time...or the vicadin!

Yesterday went well. I got the the hospital at 7:30. Everyone I encountered there was so kind and calm. The first nurse I met was from Kosovo. She came over to the US when things got bad over there. She used to be a teacher and was very touched that I taught. She was super kind and I could tell that if she had to chose, sh would go back to teaching.

The antestesiologist was wonderful. He spent about 10 minutes with me, and came up with a plan to help reduce the possibility of a horrible reaction to the medication. Although the doctor was running late, I stayed calm. I had my mom, sister, and husband there to keep me company. I asked the operating nurses not to give me the verset as they wheeled me away. It was actually much more calming for me to go into the OR fully awake. They were talking about my job and my husband. They were all so kind and funny. When it was time for the antestic, I was told to imagine some place I wanted to go, so I said London, then Napa Valley and Sonoma...and even joked about the land of brownie houses.

When I came to, I was in pain. I did ask for Patrick, and they let him come back and hold my hand. It was then i was told how the surgery went. Not the news I was hoping for, but it wasn't bad news. My bladder was attached to my uterus and my fallopian tubes were attached to my ovaries which is why it hurt to pee and the IUI's didn't work. So, she placed some new surgical "paper" around my organs in hopes to limit the scar tissue. In addition, she said the best chance for us to get pregnant is to do IVF.

I am at home with the best nurse a girl could ask for. He's taking such good care of me.

We now know what is ahead of us, and that is bringing inner peace, as our journey now has a bit of light at the end of a long tunnel.

Thank you all for the prayers and well wishes. I ask that you continue praying for us, as our baby steps are not quite over. Love you all very much!

Surgery

Well, it all came a bit fast, but after calling the doctor's office in the morning, I had a surgery date of next Wednesday within a matter of hours. I'm both scared and nervous. I go from being extremely ticked off about it, to really sad that my body has failed me. I guess it's because I know what to expect. I know the pain. I know the discomfort. I know what's in store. I  think sometimes, that being naive to what's to come is better. So, I guess there are the baby steps God wants us to take in order to get our own little one....

On to the next baby step

After 3 BFN and lower BBT, On Saturday Morning, AF came. I kind of suspected it was coming as I felt like a bitch last week and I had been fighting cramps all week. So, again, my heartbroke into a million little pieces and I melted into a puddle into the ground. I know what lies in front of me, and I'm not so sure I'm mentally ready to handle it. I will be calling tomorrow to set up a surgery date to have another laproscopy. It will probably be within the next 4-6 weeks if I can get it done that soon. We'll see what happens when I call tomorrow. I guess God has a plan for everything. I know I shouldn't be giving up hope or losing faith, but sometimes it just is really hard to understand why...

My wonderful, loving, bestest DH in the whole world took me for an early present at the Coach Factory Outlet... :)
It might not be our baby yet...but it helps soften the heartache just a little :)

3rd times a charm?

We are hoping that the 3rd time is a charm. The 3rd IUI happened on Saturday AM. I think it's wishful thinking that it worked...only because it was 16cd and well..that's pretty late for me. :( So, I've made peace with the fact that surgery is probably in the near future. It brings me to tears most of the time, but I know that if this is what God has planned for us, we'll take the cards we are dealt. But for now, we take baby steps toward the future.

OH, I did get to enjoy my most beautiful niece this weekend for my DH's birthday :). :)

Prayers

Please send some prayers our way. The 3rd IUI should bein the next few days....I've come to the conclusion this has to work. God has to have a baby for us. I've acutally not spent a whole lot of time thinking about it, but today it seemed to hit me when we were taking family photos. I yeared for a little one to be in "our" family photo. But, for now, I love my DH and the lazy puppy that is sleeping next to me sweetly on the couch. :)

Prayers and positive thoughts this way are welcome!

Dust yourself off...

This month seemed to be hard to swallow with not having the IUI work. I have felt like breaking down into tears for most of the weekend. On Friday I came home to the most beautiful bouquet of flowers, Indian food, and then a trip to my most favoritest Gelato place.

While my smile seems lost, I know that I will find it. There are many ups and downs in life, and while I am at a down, I can see the light. I know it will not last for long, it never does. I've decided to go back to yoga, at least once a week. The teacher today just had a beautiful aura about her. I felt calmer in her presence. Now, I might be a bit sore tomorrow....and not able to dance, but that's ok! I'm going to work on my physical and spiritual body. I think too, I might go back to our "teen" mass on Sunday evenings. I had lost my earring after going to church yesterday, and when Patrick and I went back to find it, I LOVED the music. It was upbeat, happy, and catchy. It reminded me of why I liked church when I was younger. So, I have two goals. One, yoga, two Church.

So, as a song went when I was elementary school..."Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again."

Lower temps...and feeling hopeless

I have to write this before I start my day. I woke up to a lower body temp and a BFN on my HP kit. :( I'm almost postivie that this means no baby...again. I'm feeling a bit hopeless right now. I go through spurts of feeling like "Yes, we will have a family" to "No, something is still wrong and I need to maybe take a more aggressive approach." I'm wondering if surgery should be my next step. It's not something I want to do, but at the same time, I want to begin my family, so I'm in this catch 22. Do I go forth with another round of meds and IUI or do I request the surgery. I don't want to continue wasting money and time if the surgery will "clean things out" so to speak. I'm so confused and blue that it's hard to think about it. Since AF hasn't teachnically started, I  don't want to call the Dr.'s office since I know the bitchy nurse will "yell" at me. Isn't that terrible? I can't call the Dr. office with my concerns because I feel like I'm going to get scolded. This whole process has me a bit sad today...

7 DPO...and waiting

Well, This month's IUI has been a bit of fun... My OPK decided to go off over Labor day weekend. It in turn got me scolded by the nurse from the Dr's office on Friday. YES, she scolded me. It still kind of irks me that she did. I mean seriously? I wanted to yell through the phone "IF I DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS, TRUST ME, I WOULDN'T CHOOSE IT!" She was upset because I waited until Friday to call, and in the meantime Patrick had inquired to the lab about being open over the weekend. The lab had called Dr. K's office about the OTHER  couple and mentioned that Patrick had called. I actually had to APOLOGIZE to that nurse for being busy and having a life! Grr...but getting past that, we lucked out because the DR had another couple to work with in the office on Sunday, so we got our IUI without much worry. It was different having the DR do it. She seemed to take her time, which the nurse didn't do last time. In addition, the tech at the lab gave Patrick some encouraging words on Sunday. She was the total opposite of the cranky nurse. It was comforting to hear those words and the encouragement after the distress we had been feeling. She told us not to lose hope!

So now we wait...I've made it a week!! YAY! Luckily, I've been working, which has been a complete blessing, because I don't find myself going slowly crazy at home. Yesterday, I spent the day with my good friend and some college friends at her baby shower. It was soooooooooo good to see that good things can come to those who wait. She passed along some "Good Luck" which made me cry. It seems like I've been doing that alot...wanting to cry. Weird...that and hot flashes. My temp this morning was 98.1...the highest its ever been. I've been leaning on my other friend going through the similar process! I'm lucky she has BBIM for me to chat with during my days when I'm at my breaking point..or when I just need a friendly shoulder to listen! Plus, my family has been amazing.

I've made it 7 days...it seems like I lose hope right around here...I don't know why. I mean, I shouldn't right? We have 7 more days until I SHOULD test....that doesn't mean that curiosity won't get the best of my DH and I before then....

Well, here's to another week. Let's hope that my kiddos (who have been COMPLETE ANGELS!!) keep me on my toes and my mind off of the baby train.

Decidely done...

So, I've decided that I'm not letting this whole IUI process stop my life. The husband and I got into a bit of a tiff about it. The meter went to two bars today...which means ovulation is around the corner. Which, on any given weekend, etc, wouldn't be a problem...but it's a holiday weekend...and the doctor's office isn't open on Sunday and Monday...and possibly Saturday. So I guess we will be doing some investigating on whether or not the lab that we go to will be around on the holidays. I'm really not excited about the possibility of someone other than the doctor's office all up in my business, but I'm also not about to waste a month of medication to no couple it with the IUI. I'm done basing my life around all of this...it'll happen when it'll happen...freaking out about the "what ifs" really isn't going to get me or the hubby anywhere but a ticket to anxietyville.

ANYWHO, being back at school has been a big blessing because I can concentrate my energies on that and not sit at home worrying about the whole infertility issues.

Talking about it really has helped me get through the rough days. I know people avoid asking about it, but really, I will say "I don't want to talk about it" if I am not int he mood or can't deal with it at that particular time.

I was joking with the girls at work, because the principal asked to bring in an "artifact" that represented our summers. I wanted to bring in a pee stick and a thermometer! Really, that has represented a good portion of my summer....;) It made me laugh out loud since people were supposed to guess what the artifact meant. Needless to say I ended up bringing in the picture of buzz light year from our astronaut experience from NASA. That was a little less controversial and personal. ;)

Here's to a great 2010-2011 school year! Something to keep my mind off of my personal issues!

No such luck....

Looks like we are on to month number two of an IUI. I won't lie, I was extremely disappointed and hearbroken when I started yesterday. I felt a bit broken....I know, I'm not, and that things will happen, but it just seems slightly unfair at times. So, here's to hoping next month is a better chance for us! :) I'm going to keep my chin up, and go forth with a happy heart knowing that I am surrounded by wonderful and supportive family and friends.

Hopeless?

Stoney Creek Metro Park- a little bit of heaven on earth!

So, today I'm feeling a bit hopeless, and that this 2 week waiting period feels like EONS!! With my cycles, I could start on day 25 (and I'm on day 23 right now...) or go as long as day 29. So far....my BBT has stayed elevated, which is a good thing. I've been having some mild cramping, but it comes and goes. Some of which feels like AF is going to be knocking on my door, but I guess we'll see. My emotions go up and down. I go from,  wow, I really could be pregnant, to "Nope, this couldn't have worked on the first try...". I don't know why today I am feeling not so optimistic. I went and rollerbladed 6 miles this morning at one of my most favoritest places, Stoney Creek. As I rollerbladed around, I took the time to Thank God and send out loving energy to all things created so beautifully. The sun was out, there was this cool gentle breeze, and the overall beauty of nature was awe inspiring. It made me realize that I have spent many miles rollerblading around that park thinking (or not thinking) about my life. Of course with my IPOD providing the soundtrack. Today, it was playing all my christian rock music from 7th and 8th grade. I think in some funny way, it was telling me that I am not alone on this journey and that I need to believe and place my faith into a higher being. That being said, I think it was telling me too, that I should be so VERY thankful for all the support that I have been given.

As I take baby steps through this journey, I realize, more and more, that I am not alone. There are so many women out there that have or are facing similar journeys. It reminds me that the human spirit is resilient and that we need to form a sisterhood (or family) to pick us up from the bad days and celebrate the good ones!

On that note, I am going to continue taking baby steps on my 2ww (2 week wait) journey...

And....we wait....

Well, Today was the big IUI day! Nothing to crazy to report. Patrick and I had a lovely breakfast this morning...very low key.We went in at 9:15 and left at 10:00 from the doctor's office. Apparently I was the first patient that wanted to put my pants back on while I laid there for 20 mins after the procedure. Umm...it's cold..and I really don't think a paper cloth is going to cut it! I think all those years of dance and marching band experience made it easy to put clothes on while laying down! hahah! OH and a freind of mine told me to go to my happy place during the procedure which consisted of houses made of brownies! So, I that's what I did, thought of brownie houses and did my yoga breathing! :)

I didn't sleep last night. I think partly because of the nerves and excitement. I don't usually deal with change very well...ok I don't deal with change very well. AT ALL. I like the normalcy that life brings and the routines that are set up. I know that having a baby with change all of that, and moreover I will have a little person dependent on me. I know my husband as well, but it just seems like a whole lot! I always ask myself, why bring a child into a world with such hate, violence, and uncertainty, but then I look at my mom and dad and realize they probably had the same fears and concerns. And I have to say, they did a GREAT job raising me, because I think I turned out pretty normal. So while I am ready to start my family, my nerves are getting the best of me! It was a good thin I had the opportunity to go clean at our rental house, because it really helps reduce my stress levels! That bathtub never looked so sparkly!! :) hee hee..
So here we are, playing the waiting game. Please pray that this works. Little miracles and baby steps...

8 9 10

Today is 8-9-10....and our stick FINALLY has a happy face! So tomorrow is the big day....and then the waiting game continues again! :) So day 15 proved to be the big day! I can tell that I have been on meds, because my abdomen feels bloated with a lot of pressure. I'm sure that it'll go away, but I can definitely tell my body is not "itself".

This weekend was filled with lots of laughter! I spent it with my family since it was my Aunt and Uncle's 40th Anniversary. It really is good for the soul to spend time with your family. When it comes down to it, they are what you have!

Here's to the baby steps tomorrow!

Waiting....

Still waiting for that positive "Happy" face....getting up at 6 AM is FUN! At least Tanner gets to go out potty too!!

So....the waiting continues. :)

Day 3

Well, here I am on day 3 of the Femara. So far, I've not had any side effects other than being extremely tired. I have read that it is not uncommon. Part of it is, I'm not sleeping well at night either. I'm not sure, it's just a pervasive ickiness!

Yesterday Patrick and I met with the Nurse to go over the details of this whole process. Holy CATS are there a lot of stipulations. If it's a Friday and you think it's going to be on a Saturday Call. If it's Friday and you think you're kit will indicate ovulation on Sunday, Call. It's a bit confusing, so hopefully the two of us can figure out WHEN to call...ha ha. The other thing is, I have to not only use the ClearBlue monitor, I have to use the predictor kit as well. Apparently the expensive monitor isn't good? Ack...who knows...I thought it all tested the same darn thing. So here's to peeing on more sticks and more temperature taking.

Tonight is a friend's wedding. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm hoping I can stay awake....I'm still wiped even though I took a nap...go figure. I may need to stop and get caffiene, especially since I'm the DD. ;)

Big Step for a Baby

Today was our appointment with the Dr. She met with us for about 30 minutes. She explained the medical interventions that we would have to look at at the first tier of infertility. Dr. discussed the differences between Chlomid and Femera. We chose to go with the Femera for several reasons:

1) It only stays in the body for 48 hrs, thus lessening the side effects and decreasing any birth defect risks
2) It does not effect the uterine lining
3) It does not effect the cervical mucus
4) It has about a 40% success rate for pregnancy with IUI
5) It has a lower miscarriage rate

So, I guess it was God talking, because tomorrow is Day 3 of my cycle, and well, that's when you are supposed to start taking the medication. The Dr was suggesting we wait until September, but because school is starting then, I asked if we could start now. After all was said and done, I walked out with a script and an appointment to meet with the nurse on Thursday.

I guess I'm feeling more excited and nervous than anything. I want this to work, because I don't want to know what the next level of treatment is. Maybe I'll be pregnant by the end of the month? Keep says prayers!

On a side note: I went to yoga yesterday and practices for the "blues". We did all kinds of gentle back bends to lift our spirits out of depression. It felt so good and it was so calming. I have to thank my mom for calling me and asking me to go to class! Then, today I was at CVS picking up my prescription and there was a woman crying in front of the pregnancy monitors. I don't know what was causing her pain, but I did say a little prayer and sent happy thoughts her way. I wanted to tell her it would be OK, and if she was pregnant, how lucky she really is. Ironic in a way...

There any many baby steps to take on this journey.

Sunshine and hope

We are back from our lovely vacation! When the above view is your view everyday, and you can walk the shoreline hand in hand with the one you love, nothing gets better than that! It was a much needed escape from the everyday realities. My problems seemed to melt away! Spending time with the love of your life, and your two best friends is great medicine for the soul!!

Now that we are back, I started my period. It seems like it does that after flying. We thought this was going to be the week, but it's ok, because we are back to the beginning again. We go on Tuesday to Dr. to find out the next steps.

It is amazing, because as I write this, I've heard of more stories over the past few weeks of friends and family struggling to conceive. I feel that if we can be open about our journey, it will help break the silence that this journey is easy for everyone, or least it appears easy. I think the support and love that we have gotten from those we have shared our new journey with has been overwhelmingly positive, and for that we are forever grateful. Here are to the baby steps we will learn about on Tuesday...

Sun and Sand

Patrick and I have both gone through our preliminary tests. The good news is we have both checked out OK! So, the trying continues. We do have a consultation with the doctor to explore our next steps. I'm guessing from what I have personally discussed with the Dr., she will recommend the Chlomid and IUI. I'm hoping that we don't have to get there, and God will grant us a baby before that; however, we will do what it takes to start our family! Baby steps...

On top of this we have been dealing with stress with our second home. The renters left it a mess...but call it fate, Patrick called a dumpster company and the guy was 2 miles from the house with a dumpster and gave it to us for $100 less! So, since fate spoke, we spent the day cleaning up and pitching out their crap. New paint and some tile in the basement will spruce it back up to it's original state! :)

Now it is time to relax, on a beach, and have our worries melt away in the sun! :)

Our Journey Begins

It looks as if Patrick and I are beginning down a new road to have a baby. When I was a sweet and innocent 13 year old, I knew that I most likely had endometriosis. I started with one of the best gynecologists in the area. She has watched me grow and monitored my health. At 18, I decided it was time for a laproscopy. So, over my senior year spring break, I underwent surgery. By the grace of God and the angels around me, the doctor removed the endometriosis, as well as saved my right ovary that was intertwined with my appendix. No wonder why I was in so much pain! I started taking birth control continuously and that helped me for almost 6 years. I elected to have surgery again in January of 2005. The endometriosis was not as invasive and the course of treatment was helping keep the endometriosis under control. The best news: I could still have children!

Last August, we began trying to start our family. The doctor said to go off my medication, and wait for my cycles to regulate. To my surprise, it regulated, almost on schedule! However, with all the kits, temperature taking, etc, we have been unsuccessful. Luckily, it was time for my yearly appointment. So Thursday, we started our journey. Today I had my sonohysterogram. Good News! My uterus and tubes look open and good. I had some soreness on my right side, but that is probably due to scar tissue. I do have some endometriosis on my uterus, but nothing to cause immediate surgery! Yay!

So, Patrick and I begin the new journey. We knew it may come to this, but together we can do anything. I know that with the support of friends and family, anything is possible. And at the end, there will be a baby. Until then, we continue to take baby steps. :)