A plan for 2011

I'm not entirely sad to see 2010 go. It wasn't a bad year by any means, because we have the love and support of our friends and family. Things just didn't quite materialize as we had thought. There are bigger plans for us, and we are looking forward to what life has in store for 2011!

We are starting the IVF process. I went for my day 3 blood work and my FSH levels dropped from 9.7 last month to 8.0! The wheat grass must be working! I will continue to drink my yummy cocktail in the morning. With a little bit of apple juice, it's palatable. I've definitely tasted worse!

So, I've been taking my birth control pills and I stop those on the 2nd! :) I start ultra sounds and shot and then we have a tentative date for our retrieval and transfer at the end of the month. I won't lie, it's EXTREMELY scary, because we WILL be pregnant. That's something we've never had before....

I'm putting all of this into a higher power's good will, because I know that if I spend the time focusing my nervous energy on it, I'm bound to go crazy! I will be focusing on my birthday, husband, family, and schoolwork.

Happy 2011 all! :) We are so very blessed for all of your prayers and positive thoughts and comments. Without your love and support, this journey would be a very long and lonely one! We love you all!

Next baby steps

AF came on with a vengence yesterday. That means we are definitley not pregnant. I could sit and throw myself a pity party, but I know that will not do my soul any good. I am choosing to move forward and we now what we must do. I start my journey of IVF tomorrow. I go for my day 3 FHS blood work. I'm hoping that my 9.7 level has gone down a bit. I did some reading on Wheatgrass and started drinking it about 4 days ago. It really is not as disgusting as it sounds, believe it or not. It gives me A LOT of energy and is a natural appetitie surpressent. :) It's supposed to bring the horomone levels down, so, if that is what will help, I will keep on drinking it! Plus there are other great benefits to it. I figure it can't kill me, so I drink up every morning!

So, this holiday season, we can rest a little easier knowing that we have aplan and it starts now. :) It's not what we would have chosen if we did get the choice, but since God seems to have a different plan for us, we choose to have a family and this is the means we are given to do so.

Merry Christmas everyone and may you have a blessed holiday with friends and family!

A Christmas Miracle?

Today's IUI happened this morning. We triggered on Wednesday night, which by the way, that shot hurt like a mofo! It burned under myskin until I fell asleep. I had a 18 mm follie on Tuesday, so I'm hoping things worked out for the us today. I knew I was hormonal when I heard a song by Orianthi on the radio and it brought me to tears. It was about courage...amd for all of us faced with this journey of infertility, it takes courage and wanting a baby more than anything else to see it through. So I post you the lyrics :)

"Courage" by Orianthi
Take all my vicious words


And turn them into something good

Take all my preconceptions

And let the truth be understood

Take all my prized possessions

Leave only what I need

Take all my pieces of doubt

And let me be what's underneath

Courage is when you're afraid,

But you keep on moving anyway

Courage is when you're in pain,

But you keep on living anyway

We all have excuses why

Living in fear something in us dies
Like a bird with broken wings

It's not how high he flies,

But the song he sings

Courage is when you're afraid,

But you keep on moving anyway

Courage is when you're in pain,

But you keep on living anyway

It's not how many times you've been knocked down

It's how many times you get back up

Courage is when you've lost your way,

But you find your strength anyway

Courage is when you're afraid

Courage is when it all seems grey

Courage is when you make a change,

And you keep on living anyway

You keep on moving anyway

You keep on giving anyway

You keep on loving anyway