This waiting thing is HORRIBLE. It's like the two week wait from hell, or at least that is what it feels like today. I'm typically a very strong person, and after all the things we've been through, I'm surpised I've made it this far without having a mental breakdown.
Today, I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of obsessing over EVERY little symptom. There really haven't been symptoms except for the horrible gas and bloating I get leading up to my period.
I have this gut feeling it didn't work. I know, STAY positive. It's just an instinct that I feel, and I can't explain it.
The other thing that I can't really seem to get over today is my fragility. Most days I can handle the "We're expecting news" or the complaints about pregnancy (Trust me, most of my friends have been SO good about this) but today, I realized that part of my can't all of the time. When I finally get to the point where I can shout things from the roof top, I know I will be extra sensitive to those who are struggling with the same journey. One can NEVER understand the emotions tied to infertility, especially when the world seems to be pregnant around you. If I keep my guard up, don't seem overly anxious or excited to talk about babies or pregnancy issues, it's not that I don't care, it's just that my heart cannot handle it at this time.
Overall, I will stay strong...and I have a feeling I will pee on a HPT by day 6 or 7...I don't know if I can wait much longer.....
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